The fast-talking, angry, sullen, belligerent, character-assassinating stoner of the group. He survives purely on his mouth and puts off his destiny as a temp worker by hiding himself in Gavin’s house, smoking weed, reading about the Mongols and fancying himself an “intellectual mercenary.” He sabotages Yakob’s every effort at meeting women and pushes his luck on a nightly basis by rubbing it in Gavin’s face that he never works.